My story really began in the spring of 2015 just a week before my 18th birthday.
I’m going to start by telling you I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorder for most of my life and I lost my hair to a genetic condition Alopecia Totalis. From then my life was on the downward spiral.When I started high school I began having what my psychiatric team believed to be an early onset psychosis – after months of tests and appointments it transpired that I had a rare disease known as tuberous sclerosis- this has affected my memory aswell my brain kidneys teeth skin and memory among other things. anyway among all of this I began self harming -at an all girls school I felt out of place and I don’t really know why I guess I felt so different not fitting in physically etc – I didn’t really understand my emotions.
Fast forward to when I was 16 and a half and I applied for the military Which was something I aspired to all my life and even spent 4 years in the cadets and made the rank of corporal but my diagnosis of TSC rendered me permanently medically disqualified for joining. Following this I fell into a deep depression. After months of CBT and psychologist appointments I was discharged.
Now all the while I started isolating myself from everyone in my life to the point I didn’t notice my parents growing more distant. A week before my 18th birthday my mother told me that they were separating. So my depression worsened and instead of drinking the night away and having the time of my life my birthday passed like any other day and I spent the day packing away my possessions while listening to depressing songs and a week later moved out with my dad. This was the best thing that happened but is nothing in comparison to what was about to unfold.